This is a song

I have been creating off and on over the past year. I can’t tell you how much time and effort it has taken to compose, write out, and then record with video. How many times it took to just try stuff. I tried recording the piano and then recording my voice separately. I tried recording both, but then realized I needed to memorize it. I have played this piece over and over again to get it right. It still isn’t perfect, but it is something I am proud of sharing. There were many times the studio was in disarray and I had to adjust equipment and stations. And then when I did get everything right, the audio and video wouldn’t line up so I had to figure out what to do. Then the video was upside down, so I had to figure out how to get it right side up. It was one thing after another. But after every hurdle I got better and I can now do it faster and better than before.

What this project has taught me is how to be adaptable. I never felt discouraged. I just knew it would happen sometime even if it wasn’t that very day. I would eventually get where I wanted to go. So I just kept going. Early…like at 5:00 in the morning. Most weekends, and Tuesdays and Thursdays and any time I could get in the lab during the day. It was my hang out spot. My time to create and be me. 

This is a sticker that is placed on a door in the recording studio. I love it so much because the Narnia books were my favorite growing up. It was like a sign that said, “this is where you belong.”

So what I can tell you is that doing this project has given me excitement and joy like I haven’t felt in years. I am grateful to be able to do this project and the tenacity it has given me to believe it would happen. I am grateful for the guidance I have received to do this project. It has given me greater hope and courage. As I was creating it and singing, it was like I was creating affirmations for myself to help me keep going and move forward. 

This song comes from a deep place in my heart

and to be honest it is a little terrifying to share it. But I hope that for maybe one person, it can make a difference. That they can know they are not alone in the world…that someone cares and that they are loved more than they will ever know. That’s my hope.