When Did Comparing Become a Thing?

Growing up as a skater, I would wake up at 4:30 every morning to I could hit the ice. Morning workouts were great, because I felt like I had the rink mostly to myself. The ice was cleaned by the Zamboni. A clean slate. And I got to go out and enjoy the freshness of it. It is what I loved to do. I was focused and had a great time trying new things and expressing myself. It just felt right.

When I would compete, I was only focused on my program and what I had to do. I never cared what others were doing and chose not to watch the other skaters. It was never important what they did. Only what I could offer. And it paid off. There were many competitions I was able to get first place because I wasn’t worried about anyone else. I kept my focus and just did my thing. I loved it so much. It was a highlight to be able to perform and have people cheering for me. It felt awesome. Then I would get off the ice and not worry about my scores or what others were doing. It just wasn’t important to me. They were doing their thing, just like I did. And that was awesome. But I had no interest in watching. The same went for the Olympics. I never had any interest in watching other skaters compete and it just made me nervous if I ever did. Interestingly enough, when I stopped skating is when I was more interested.

Thinking about these ideas I think about how I do life now. When did I start to care what others were doing? I notice that such thoughts are limiting and stop me from taking action. When did it become important that I measured up or was as good as someone else?

I compare other pianists and how wonderful they sound compared to what I am able to play. And then such thoughts become a true reality because I start to believe I can never measure up or be the kind of musician I want to be. It doesn’t help me to be better. It just puts fear in me and makes me not want to try. It puts me in a state of frozen shame. “I will never make it. It is too hard.” The truth is I can always find someone that I think is better than I am at something. But the other truth is No one can be me! Oscar Wilde said “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”

Maybe the way to freedom is to not care what others are doing and just do my thing. There will be others that will be better than me, but it doesn’t have to stop me from trying. I will get better as I go. That is really the only thing that is important. Comparing then becomes a waste of energy and space that could be taken up by moving forward in a direction meant for me.

Each of us has something we can do to shine. What that is really isn’t important. If you can tie you shoes really well, awesome. If you can make amazing websites, or bake to-die-for cookies, or even put your kids to bed and help them feel warm and comfortable, isn’t that enough? Why compare? It doesn't help in the success of life to move forward, and it may even hinder progress so that you don’t want to ever try.  In the end it really doesn’t matter what others do. They can be awesome and so can you. Because one exists doesn’t make another less. Nothing is diminished. It may in fact be a collective whole of amazingness.