My Story
I have always loved music from the time I was little. Something about it just touched my heart and I was captivated by it. Growing up I was in choir and took piano, voice and flute lessons. When I was taking lessons, I would practice, but at times would not take it seriously. When I was in high school I would tell my piano teacher that I wanted to major in music and she didn’t believe I was cut out for it and actually discouraged me from perusing it.
And the truth is I really didn’t want to put in the time it would take. I wasn’t focused or serious about it.
When I started college, I felt lost and didn’t know what I wanted out of life. Outdoor recreation seemed like a good choice because I loved being outside and wanted to help others enjoy it too. I still took music lessons and continued to improve, but on my own terms. I didn’t want it to become work, but to be enjoyed. Others would always ask me if I was a music major. And it made sense, but I just didn’t believe that I could do it.
So now, 22 years later…
You know that nagging feeling that there is something that you are supposed to be doing? That thing that says, “you have a purpose and reason for being here. Start something. Go after it.” It feels as though this nagging feeling comes and goes. For me it seemed to be every few years something would happen, or I would just feel a tug at my heart. “I know I’m supposed to do something, but I just don’t know what it is.”
I would try and explore, but then give up. Life kept on going and so it would diminish again. But it kept happening more and more often as the years went by.
Then last fall 2016, I decided to get really clear about what this thing was. A life direction. I just needed to know what I was supposed to do with my life. I knew there was a reason. I gave myself permission to dream again; to open myself up to possibilities. I had options again. Choices. But there was also something else…hope. Hope in my future and hope that I could make a difference and that there was more to me that I wanted to give.
Back when I was attending Jr. High school, I will admit I hated it. It was a time when I felt the most lost and alone. My life wasn’t awful, but I was angry and miserable. And lost. Thinking about this, I thought if I could offer some kid a little hope in this time of transition and misery, a time when I could have used some direction and hope, it would be worth the effort.
I am also a choir director in my church. It has brought me great joy to lead and sing with such wonderful people. I love the music and the happiness it brings into my life and love to see how it touches others as well.
Both of these experiences brought me to the thought to become a Jr. High choir teacher. And so I looked into it and became aware of what it would take to get there. Another four years of college. A second bachelor’s degree. But as I pursued it, and applied to the University, all things were put in place for me to go back. People would be in their offices so I could talk with them. Deadlines would be a few days away so I could get my information in on time. I was doing it and as I did, doors would open.
My first semester back was awesome. I loved my classes. Loved my teachers. They were wonderful and passionate about what they were doing. It was inspiring and I felt that I was where I was supposed to be. I felt home. Libby Garner Hall, where I now study, was also where I used to take my piano lessons when I was 13. So coming back felt like I was home. I don’t have to worry about fulfilling generals, but it is still a challenge. Only now it is something I really and truly want. I feel focused and have the desire to learn and keep going.
The point of all this is to say it is never too late to figure out what it is you truly want out of life. The important thing is to go after it. It reminds me of the song
by Imagine Dragons. There is no reason to wait. The right time will never come. There is no perfect time to go after something. If the desire is there, you go out there and do it.