Full Body Listening: A Better Way to Connect
Have you ever felt like someone wasn’t really listening to you? Maybe they were nodding along, but you could tell they weren’t fully tuned in. Or maybe you’ve caught yourself pretending to listen while your mind was elsewhere. It happens to all of us!
But real, full-body listening can change everything. It’s one of the best ways to make someone feel heard, valued, and connected. Let’s talk about the difference between true listening and all the other ways we can “listen” without actually connecting.
What Gets in the Way of Listening?
Sometimes we think we’re listening, but we’re actually running everything through “filters.” These filters get in the way of understanding what the other person is really saying. Here are a few common ones:
Listening to fix things
Listening to control the conversation
Listening just to confirm your own opinion
Listening to hear if you’re liked
Listening to defend yourself
Listening to avoid conflict
These filters keep us focused on our own agenda instead of really hearing the other person. Sure, we might catch the words they’re saying, but we miss the deeper stuff—what they really feel or need.
A Better Way: Whole Body Listening
What if you could listen in a way that builds trust, moves conversations forward, and creates a deeper connection? That’s what Whole Body Listening is all about.
This idea comes from the Hendricks Institute, which teaches that listening is actually more powerful than talking. When we listen fully, things flow better, relationships grow stronger, and life feels easier.
3 Steps to Whole Body Listening
Listen for Accuracy
Be fully present: Give your undivided attention.
Acknowledge what you hear: Let them know you’re engaged.
Repeat it back: Summarize what they said to make sure you got it right.
Listen for Empathy
Notice their feelings: Try to understand and name the emotion behind their words.
Listen for Mutual Creativity
Focus on possibilities: Ask, “What’s most important to them?”
Collaborate on solutions: Work together to imagine what’s next and how to support their goals.
Are You Listening with Filters?
It’s easy to slip into old habits, especially when we’re stressed or distracted. Here are a few questions to check in with yourself:
Who do I struggle to listen to consciously?
What’s my go-to filter?
How does stress affect the way I listen?
What blocks me from being fully present?
A Personal Story
Last week, I realized I wasn’t practicing great listening skills. My daughter told me about her day, but I only half-listened while doing something else. Later, I asked her the same question again, and she looked at me like, “Really, Mom?”
I felt terrible and apologized. It was a wake-up call to be more intentional about listening. Since then, I’ve been practicing Whole Body Listening, and I’ve already noticed a difference.
Commitment to Better Listening
The Hendricks Institute describes commitment as bringing your whole self—body, mind, and spirit—to a specific path. Here are some commitments to try when speaking and listening:
No criticism or judgment.
No comparing or controlling.
Restate what you hear without adding your opinion.
Listen for feelings and desires, not just words.
Approach conversations with appreciation.
A Magical Moment with My Son
My son is usually a bit of a hermit, so getting him to talk can be tricky. Instead of asking the usual “How was your day?” I tried, “What are you thinking about?”
To my surprise, he opened up about his ideas and imagination. I practiced Whole Body Listening, and when I got distracted, I gently brought myself back. It felt like magic because he doesn’t often share his thoughts, and I got to show him that his ideas matter to me.
Try It for Yourself
Whole Body Listening can create moments of connection that feel truly special. Let go of the filters, listen fully, and see what happens. You might discover new ways to connect with the people you love most.
I’d love to hear how it goes! Have you noticed any magical moments while practicing listening?