Tiny Windows

So far this blog has been about my journey, but I wanted to share an inspiring story about Mark Erickson. I got to know Mark through church and then had visits in his home with my children every Friday. He is a special man in his 30’s now. He was diagnosed with a disease called Glutaric Academia at 6 months old. He was born normally and looked fine in every way, but as soon as he got an illness it led to a build up so much lactic acid that it affected the motor control center of the brain. This triggered the metabolic disease Glutaric Acidemia type 1, which left Mark to suffer a spastic type of paralysis. This disease makes the muscles in the body tighten and contract so much that there becomes an inability to move voluntarily. Mark was the youngest of six children and the only boy. Two of his sisters were also handicapped like he was. 

Mark is in the middle

Mark was lucky that he had the ability to talk and move his head. Cindy was the oldest and had no ability to communicate. Heather was able to use her eyes to communicate yes and no. She would use her eyes to tell you something by where she looked and She could also turn her head.

Mark said of Heather, “she was my teacher. Through our eyes, we had tiny little windows. And when the windows were open, we could understand each other. And we could talk. And when they were closed, you couldn’t talk at all. Then Heather taught Cindy how to talk. Heather told Cindy, ‘ok he is the way. Talk to Mark so you can have someone to talk to when I’m gone.’ Heather taught me how to talk to Cindy and we got good.”

Marks mom Joyce said “Cindy always laid on the floor on a foam pad. Heather was in the middle in her bean bag so that she was facing the other two. They were always like – I don’t know what’s going on here but there is something going on between these kids. The thing that makes me know there is really something to what he says is that I really came to understand that Heavenly Father compensates for people who have disabilities, who can’t talk, and gives them some feelings of what ever positiveness can be.”

Later when Heather passed away, Mark and Cindy could still talk to each other. Mark understood Cindy and could tell his mom what she wanted. There was a person in there, that didn’t have the ability to speak, but suddenly had the capacity to communicate through her eyes. I imagine it was a relief for her to share her thoughts and ideas with someone else, when she could not do so before.

This story is important to me because it shows that God is very aware of us and the needs we have and will give ability when we need it. I’m sure that Cindy would have been very lonely, had Heather not shown her how to do these things. Heather knew there was a soul inside that wanted to say things and she as her sister wanted to help to do so. Mark as well was a catalyst in the endeavor and what wonders come when those with sincerity come together.  

I think about Mark and his sisters. They had to learn how to communicate with each other through their eyes out of necessity. It was the only way. It is such an amazing idea. What if we could be open to see things in someone else’s eyes without saying anything? My guess is there are many who have hurt inside and no ability to share it or someone who is trustworthy to full listen. What if we were still enough and open enough to see and understand another without anything being said. There is an English proverb that says “the eyes are the window to the soul”. Both people have to be willing to be open and then communication can be received. There comes a level of understanding by just being present with a person and nothing needs to be said.

Yesterday I was thinking about this idea of tiny windows when one of my children was having a hard day. They were grumpy, nothing was going right and they were taking it out on others. I sent them to their room to cool down. When I went in they were still grumpy, but we were able to talk. I thought about what was behind their behavior and what was the real driving force. Come to find out it was because they didn’t feel like they had personal control over what happened to them and they felt overlooked. They therefore they didn’t feel loved and that is why they were acting as they did. Sometimes it is hard to see what is really going on. The behavior is the thing that is seen and treated. But I was able to look beyond that and see a person who was hurting and needing to be reassured that they were loved.

There are windows everywhere if we are open to seeing them. I am grateful to Mark and his positive attitude and example. Grateful for his willingness to teach me about tiny windows. I will end with this quote by Martin Buber: “Whatever the meaning of the word “truth” may be in other realms, in the interhuman realm, it means that men communicate themselves to one another as what they are. It does not depend on one saying to the other everything that occurs to him, but only on his letting no seeming creep in between himself and the other. It does not depend on letting himself go before another, but on his granting to the man to whom he communicates himself a sharing in his being. This is a question of the authenticity of the interhuman, and where this is not to be found, neither is the human element itself authentic.”