Do you fear space?

When I first started working with my life coach, I shared a video of a vision I had of my future. It was a project I was proud of and often used to help inspire me to keep focused on my goals. All good things. But he said to me "where's the space?" This was the first time I had ever thought about it. I was doing many things at the time. I was in school, I was a leader in an online coaching group, I had just finished recording my first EP album, I was starting an online coaching business, and I was raising a family with 4 kids at home, my youngest being 5 at the time. Whew!

I didn't realize it at the time, but I was afraid of space. I was afraid to be still. I couldn't do it. And when I did have space, I felt depressed and desperate for structure to give me a sense of stability and security. Summer was the worst. It meant I had to create my own momentum and structure instead of someone else doing it for me and me just having to execute. Being busy was my go to in order to function. In order to feel ok.

I didn't realize it at the time, but it was also a way to keep people at a distance and not go too deep in my relationships with others and with myself. It was a way to numb and not have to feel too much. And if I was busy enough I wouldn't have to think about all the things I was afraid to feel. But this also limited me in how much I could connect deeply with others. It damned up how much I could truly understand, love, and find true joy in myself.

But in looking at this principle of stillness and space, here is what I have found. And maybe it will be helpful for you as well.

What does space and stillness do for me?

Helps me feel reconnected to me daily and truly receive who I am.

Helps me feel a deep sense of love for myself and those around me.

Helps me to realize my potential and dream of what is possible.

Helps me to connect to God in a deep way so I feel I can feel his love for me and trust in Him more.

Helps me to reflect on the past day and how things went.

Helps me to question my faulty thinking that may not be true and to truly Let them Go.

Helps me remember what I have control over and what I don't

Helps me reflect on my trajectory of where I am headed and what corrections I could make.

I didn't know how deep my relationships could go.

I didn't know how much love I could feel for myself and others.

I didn't know how much love I could feel for my savior and to understand Him so much better.

I didn't know how afraid I was before, and how confident I feel now.

I didn't know that space brings possibility, a realness and beauty.

I didn't know how much I could accept myself and those around me and truly receive them.

I just didn't know because I had never given myself the chance to have that space.

Now that I know what space and stillness feel like, I look forward to having it.

Cancelations are not a problem anymore

I look forward to summer

I look forward to my husband being away so I can have some me time.

I find it interesting how our perspectives can shift because of receiving. and letting go.

What about you?

How do you find space and stillness?

What has stillness and space done for you?