The Year I Turned 40 With Gratitude

One of the things I appreciate about my 4 year old is whenever I say something encouraging, she will agree with my assertion in a sweet and precious way. How I love her example to recognize goodness as a matter of fact. She knows she is wonderful and that there are things she is good at. And she will say so. It is important to recognize our accomplishments and there is nothing wrong with it! Sometimes it is difficult for me to recognize how far I have come, trying to be humble. But it turns out to be ignoring accomplishments all together and the remarkable things that have transpired.

Looking back on this past year, the year I turned 40, I am in awe of all that has happened. I sought for help October of last year because I was depressed and shut down. I knew there were things I wanted to do with my life, but didn’t know what. And I was frustrated with trying to parent my children and not getting much headway. I was a helicopter mom, and it was exhausting! Looking back I am so grateful for the changes that have happened in my life, the people I have met, and the experiences I have had. My heart is full for so many reasons. This past year has been filled with ups and downs, risks and failures, and a whole lot of living.

Since turning 40 I have:

Started a second bachelors degree, this time in Music Education

Started this blog

Created a website and business

Learned my way around a recording studio

Recorded piano and voice

Learned how to edited music and post it on my web-page

Made amazing friends at school

Taken lesson for guitar, violin, viola, piano and voice

Tested out of 4 piano keyboarding classes

Written poetry and songs

Traveled to Florida to visit my sister

Scanned and prepared music to play

Worked out at a gym at 5:00 a.m. most mornings since January

One I am most excited about:

Playing the piano for CenterPoint Legacy Theatre before their shows begin during December

I feel challenged, but not overwhelmed. I know how to overcome anything I currently face. My husband has been an amazing support. I could not have done any of it with out his full commitment. I am so grateful for him and his willingness to go along with my ideas. I am grateful for our relationship. I love working out together in the mornings. Grateful for fist bumps and watching each other succeed. Grateful for dates on the weekends and going to jazz concerts together. They are so fun!

My kids have amazed me as well. They have adjusted to me being in school. I leave early in the morning and they have to get themselves off to school on their own with a lunch in hand they made themselves. And they are never tardy and have never missed a day. They are amazing and I am so proud of them!

Over the past year empowerment has come as I parent. I keep my agreements with them, and try to be fair. But I also follow through with consequences put in place. They have a sense of ownership and fairness, which helps them relax and be their best selves. I have really good kids who listen most of the time. I try to let them manage themselves and make decisions that are good for them within reason. They have jobs they are expected to do to help out, including serving each other, and they do them so that they can play and pursue their interest. We have a dinner routine to help with setting the table, and clean up. Consistency and follow through have been my allies. It is working and we are better for it. I no longer feel like the helpless mother my kids ignore. I feel more calm and less set off by events. I feel centered. It hasn’t always been this way. And I am grateful to know the difference and to do better. I feel I have my life back.

How I love the life I have right now. I never could have thought it possible to do all that I have done in this last year, but here I am. Grateful for the faith, courage and the hope I feel for the future. I look back with awe and amazement. So grateful for the lessons learned and the strength gained. The personal growth I have felt, the peace, drive, and belief that I can do it, and that I will be guided and figure it out what ever it is. I could not have done it without help, for which I am most grateful.

My dear family and friends – you have helped me to have a profoundly wonderful year. May this next year also be amazing for us all. I have no doubt the future holds wonderful possibilities. And I can’t wait!